Today, Amy, Pam and I had our first meeting for the local FSA Conference in November. I was excited to share ideas and look forward to further planning. Along with the conference, we have a new volunteer to be an Adoption Advocate. I hope more voices join in spreading the work concerning adoption.
Tawnia
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Education
Thanks to all who made it to our very first set of classes. It was our first time so we were grateful to have such a supportive group.
We will be having the next class on March 18th at 7:00pm. If you are interested in attending please contact the office and let us know.
Thanks again
We will be having the next class on March 18th at 7:00pm. If you are interested in attending please contact the office and let us know.
Thanks again
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Good Books
This is an Excellent book dealing
with grief of any type.
Live Givers by John Gritter is an excellent book to learn about
what a Birth mother might be experiencing.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Letter Concerning Adoptive Couple Classes
Dear Prospective Adoptive Parent, January 4, 2010
It is LDS Family Services’ responsibility to prepare all parties for the adoption process. In order to comply with new policies and best business practices, LDS Family Services now requires that each adoptive couple receive training concerning adoption and birthparent issues. This requirement applies to all new couples that apply for adoption on/or after January 1, 2010. New couples will be required to receive 10 hours of Adoption Education as part of the adoption study. LDS Family Services and Families Supporting Adoption will be providing the training. Notification concerning training opportunities will come through e-mail and/or by accessing an office blog at http://www.adoptionhub.blogspot.com/ and FSA blog at FSAWA.blogspot.com (more information to come).
Adoptive couples that started their adoption study prior to December 31, 2009 will be exempt from this new 10 hour requirement. However, exempt adoptive couples that choose to participate in the training may benefit from the training in the following ways:
1. Adoptive couples that have completed the adoption training often become a more attractive choice to a birthmother considering placement. The adoption caseworker will keep an “Education Log” of classes attended. When birthparents consider adoptive couples, they may ask to see the “Education Log.” This will help them determine the adoptive couple’s knowledge concerning birthparent issues and may impact their decision.
2. Since many states have education requirements, accruing education hours may help couples to receive placement from these states without difficulty. (Washington State Adoptions require 32 training hours.) LDS Family Services - Seattle Office will only require 10 Adoption Education hours for all new adoptive couples. Birth Parents also receive a similar education.
3. The classes are designed to help a couple’s adoption experience go more smoothly and may provide answers to questions that are relevant to the adoption process.
LDS Family Services will be presenting six classes on an ongoing, monthly basis. One class will be taught each month on a Thursday evening, lasting 60 – 90 minutes. Couples will be required to attend five of these classes and a birth parent panel. There is an outline of the classes available on the office blog.
Tara (birth parent caseworker) and I will be offering a “one-time-only” training on Saturday, January 30, 2010 from 10 AM – 4:30 PM. Four of the five required classes will be covered for those interested in completing the classes quickly. The fifth required class and the birth parent panel will be available on a Thursday evening date. Space for the Saturday class is limited. To register, please contact Gwenn (Adoption Secretary) at fam-wa-seattle@ldschurch.org or at 425-228-0074 by January 25, 2010.
I am looking forward to helping each adoptive couple to be fully prepared as they seek to build their family through the loving option of adoption. If you have questions or concerns, please contact me at singletonta@ldsfamilyservices.org.
Respectfully,
Tawnia Singleton, Adoption Manager
It is LDS Family Services’ responsibility to prepare all parties for the adoption process. In order to comply with new policies and best business practices, LDS Family Services now requires that each adoptive couple receive training concerning adoption and birthparent issues. This requirement applies to all new couples that apply for adoption on/or after January 1, 2010. New couples will be required to receive 10 hours of Adoption Education as part of the adoption study. LDS Family Services and Families Supporting Adoption will be providing the training. Notification concerning training opportunities will come through e-mail and/or by accessing an office blog at http://www.adoptionhub.blogspot.com/ and FSA blog at FSAWA.blogspot.com (more information to come).
Adoptive couples that started their adoption study prior to December 31, 2009 will be exempt from this new 10 hour requirement. However, exempt adoptive couples that choose to participate in the training may benefit from the training in the following ways:
1. Adoptive couples that have completed the adoption training often become a more attractive choice to a birthmother considering placement. The adoption caseworker will keep an “Education Log” of classes attended. When birthparents consider adoptive couples, they may ask to see the “Education Log.” This will help them determine the adoptive couple’s knowledge concerning birthparent issues and may impact their decision.
2. Since many states have education requirements, accruing education hours may help couples to receive placement from these states without difficulty. (Washington State Adoptions require 32 training hours.) LDS Family Services - Seattle Office will only require 10 Adoption Education hours for all new adoptive couples. Birth Parents also receive a similar education.
3. The classes are designed to help a couple’s adoption experience go more smoothly and may provide answers to questions that are relevant to the adoption process.
LDS Family Services will be presenting six classes on an ongoing, monthly basis. One class will be taught each month on a Thursday evening, lasting 60 – 90 minutes. Couples will be required to attend five of these classes and a birth parent panel. There is an outline of the classes available on the office blog.
Tara (birth parent caseworker) and I will be offering a “one-time-only” training on Saturday, January 30, 2010 from 10 AM – 4:30 PM. Four of the five required classes will be covered for those interested in completing the classes quickly. The fifth required class and the birth parent panel will be available on a Thursday evening date. Space for the Saturday class is limited. To register, please contact Gwenn (Adoption Secretary) at fam-wa-seattle@ldschurch.org or at 425-228-0074 by January 25, 2010.
I am looking forward to helping each adoptive couple to be fully prepared as they seek to build their family through the loving option of adoption. If you have questions or concerns, please contact me at singletonta@ldsfamilyservices.org.
Respectfully,
Tawnia Singleton, Adoption Manager
Thursday, December 31, 2009
"Finding Experience" for Adoptive Mom
Recently 2 of my past Birth Moms found their child on Facebook and made contact. These 2 children are siblings. Birth Moms did not know each other. Below you will find the emails from the Adoptive Mom (edited).
Dear Tawnia,
I wanted to send you an email and let you know how much I appreciated talking with you a couple of weeks ago. I appreciated the information that you gave me concerning Birth Mom (BM). Needless to say, it was an exciting and an emotional week for the our family!
My daughter was thrilled, at first, to be in contact to BM, but for some reason has become reluctant to continue correspondence with her. Even though daughter is 19 years old, she is still immature in some respects. She tends to 'jump in with both feet' initially and then realizes that she maybe she should have taken things a bit more cautiously. Her primary response, in dealing with the uncomfortableness and fear, is avoidance. I know that BM is hurting right now. She took her cue from my daughter’s enthusiasm in the beginning and I think tried to establish a relationship with daughter too quickly. I don't know what the outcome will be as far as daughter wanting to pursue the relationship in the future. That will have to be daughter's choice.
On the other hand, the process with son (17) and his contact with BM is going very well, so far. BM contacted me first. I was able to correspond with her for several days and we both had time to analyze the situation. I was able to let my son read her correspondence to me and he became comfortable enough to begin corresponding with BM. They are being very patient with son and just asking him questions to get to know him better. He is asking questions of them and they are responding with honest, heartfelt answers. It has been a positive experience for all involved, so far.
I guess the reason that I am telling you this is to let you know that if a birthmother contacts you to get advice about contacting the adopted child, especially if the child is still young, please tell them to try and contact the adoptive parents first. This way the adoptive parent can help gage and monitor the process for both the child and the birthparents. The adoptive parents know the child's personality and can help the birthparents know how to properly correspond with the child.
In corresponding with both BMs, they both have expressed to me how much they appreciated your love, concern, help, and counsel through the pregnancy, placement process and beyond. They both have a great love and respect for you. One told me that if it hadn't been for your love, support, and encouragement during a long phone call on the night before daughter was placed with us, we probably wouldn't have received her. BM also has expressed to me how much you helped her. Thank you!
In corresponding with both BMs, I have realized just how strong their love for the children they placed is. I guess for some reason I thought that love and concern would fade somewhat with time. If anything, it is stronger. I also know that the remorse that they felt when they decided to place their child is still there. I hope though, this has faded somewhat with time. I know that they have thought about and wondered about the child each day since the placement. I am sure it is a great sense of relief to know that their children are safe, healthy and doing well.
Thank you again Tawnia! Thank you for helping us have the experience of being parents to our chidlren. We love them tremendously and we are trying our best to help them become people that will want to make good choices.
Tawnia,
Just to let you know, my daughter has had a chance to think things through a little bit more and has again been in contact with BM. I hope that their relationship will progress in a good and comfortable way for both of them.
Another observation that I have made in corresponding with BMs, which I didn't express to you previously, is that the birth mothers hold on to every piece of information or item sent to them about the children that they placed. In fact, I would dare say that they "cling" to it. Both BMs can practically quote to me the letters that I sent to them and have "reminded" me of information that I included about daughter and son that I have long since forgotten. I sent a Christmas card to son's birth parents and family and BM commented to me that she "recognized my writing immediately!" Who would have thought that she would have imprinted in her memory my hand writing?! How wonderful, powerful and divine is a mother's love for a child. Any mother's love, be it a birth mother or an adoptive mother, for I know that my love for my children is just as strong.
Adoptive mom
________________________________________
Response by Tawnia
Thank you for this beautiful email. I love my girls. I also love the adoptive couple, but my focus has been on the healing of the girls. Although they have pre-marital sex, got pregnant and “decided” to place their child for adoption, it did not occur without grief and pain. I have witnesses this over and over for 20 years. I don’t think people understand the feelings on either side of the adoption triangle. LDS Family Services has come a long way since 20 years ago in the open-ness, but the education is lagging behind and I hope to make a difference there this year.
Dear Tawnia,
I wanted to send you an email and let you know how much I appreciated talking with you a couple of weeks ago. I appreciated the information that you gave me concerning Birth Mom (BM). Needless to say, it was an exciting and an emotional week for the our family!
My daughter was thrilled, at first, to be in contact to BM, but for some reason has become reluctant to continue correspondence with her. Even though daughter is 19 years old, she is still immature in some respects. She tends to 'jump in with both feet' initially and then realizes that she maybe she should have taken things a bit more cautiously. Her primary response, in dealing with the uncomfortableness and fear, is avoidance. I know that BM is hurting right now. She took her cue from my daughter’s enthusiasm in the beginning and I think tried to establish a relationship with daughter too quickly. I don't know what the outcome will be as far as daughter wanting to pursue the relationship in the future. That will have to be daughter's choice.
On the other hand, the process with son (17) and his contact with BM is going very well, so far. BM contacted me first. I was able to correspond with her for several days and we both had time to analyze the situation. I was able to let my son read her correspondence to me and he became comfortable enough to begin corresponding with BM. They are being very patient with son and just asking him questions to get to know him better. He is asking questions of them and they are responding with honest, heartfelt answers. It has been a positive experience for all involved, so far.
I guess the reason that I am telling you this is to let you know that if a birthmother contacts you to get advice about contacting the adopted child, especially if the child is still young, please tell them to try and contact the adoptive parents first. This way the adoptive parent can help gage and monitor the process for both the child and the birthparents. The adoptive parents know the child's personality and can help the birthparents know how to properly correspond with the child.
In corresponding with both BMs, they both have expressed to me how much they appreciated your love, concern, help, and counsel through the pregnancy, placement process and beyond. They both have a great love and respect for you. One told me that if it hadn't been for your love, support, and encouragement during a long phone call on the night before daughter was placed with us, we probably wouldn't have received her. BM also has expressed to me how much you helped her. Thank you!
In corresponding with both BMs, I have realized just how strong their love for the children they placed is. I guess for some reason I thought that love and concern would fade somewhat with time. If anything, it is stronger. I also know that the remorse that they felt when they decided to place their child is still there. I hope though, this has faded somewhat with time. I know that they have thought about and wondered about the child each day since the placement. I am sure it is a great sense of relief to know that their children are safe, healthy and doing well.
Thank you again Tawnia! Thank you for helping us have the experience of being parents to our chidlren. We love them tremendously and we are trying our best to help them become people that will want to make good choices.
Adoptive Mom
Tawnia,
Just to let you know, my daughter has had a chance to think things through a little bit more and has again been in contact with BM. I hope that their relationship will progress in a good and comfortable way for both of them.
Another observation that I have made in corresponding with BMs, which I didn't express to you previously, is that the birth mothers hold on to every piece of information or item sent to them about the children that they placed. In fact, I would dare say that they "cling" to it. Both BMs can practically quote to me the letters that I sent to them and have "reminded" me of information that I included about daughter and son that I have long since forgotten. I sent a Christmas card to son's birth parents and family and BM commented to me that she "recognized my writing immediately!" Who would have thought that she would have imprinted in her memory my hand writing?! How wonderful, powerful and divine is a mother's love for a child. Any mother's love, be it a birth mother or an adoptive mother, for I know that my love for my children is just as strong.
Adoptive mom
________________________________________
Response by Tawnia
Thank you for this beautiful email. I love my girls. I also love the adoptive couple, but my focus has been on the healing of the girls. Although they have pre-marital sex, got pregnant and “decided” to place their child for adoption, it did not occur without grief and pain. I have witnesses this over and over for 20 years. I don’t think people understand the feelings on either side of the adoption triangle. LDS Family Services has come a long way since 20 years ago in the open-ness, but the education is lagging behind and I hope to make a difference there this year.
Tawnia
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Classes for Adoptive Couples
We will be offering a Saturday presentation of classes #2 thru #5 on January 30th. This is a great opportunity to attend four of the classes at once! The class will start at 10am and go until 4:30. There will be a half hour break for lunch. We recommend bringing a sack lunch. Hope to see you there!
Classes for Adoptive Couples
Class #1 Birthmother Panel
Class #2 Demystifying Birthparents
Class #3 Birthparent Process, Decision Making
Class #4 Where Birthparents Fit
Class #5 Post -placement concerns
a. Communicating with Birthparents
Class #6 Preparing for the Adoption Process
a. Preparing for face to face
b. Etiquette for visits and placement
c. Birthparent gifts
Class #2 Demystifying Birthparents
Class #3 Birthparent Process, Decision Making
Class #4 Where Birthparents Fit
Class #5 Post -placement concerns
a. Communicating with Birthparents
Class #6 Preparing for the Adoption Process
a. Preparing for face to face
b. Etiquette for visits and placement
c. Birthparent gifts
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